


The Golden Rule of Parenting (According to Simon Tam)

by lunarknightz



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8136116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarknightz/pseuds/lunarknightz
Summary: When it seems like Serenity is in terrible trouble, Simon learns a very important lesson in parenting.Set post-movie.





	

He turns the object over in his hands, trying to make heads or tails of it. It’s metal, with plenty of a few knobs on it (which seem like they should turn but aren’t) and it should do something, and he can’t figure it out.

“Daddy!” His daughter pouts, her dark curly pigtails bouncing up and down. “I need you to fix it.”

“Daddy’s trying to, Belle. Give Daddy a moment.” Simon groans, and shakes the metal object up and down, for lack of a better idea. 

“That’s not what Mommy does!” 

“I don’t care.” He mutters. ‘Now would be the appropriate moment for a swear word’ Simon thinks to himself ‘If only little pitchers didn’t have such large ears.’ 

“Daddy, the ship’s gonna ‘plode if we don’t fix it! And Uncle Mal will be maaaaddd..” Five year old Belle drew out the last word, making it seem impossibly long.

“Yeah. He would be pretty mad.” Simon growls. “This is just a toy, right? You weren’t scampering around in the engine room again, were you? Uncle Mal still hasn’t stopped giving Daddy a hard time about that one.” Belle had inherited River’s curiosity and as well as Kaylee’s fascination with machines. And though Simon loved his daughter- he was crazy about Belle, sometimes he had absolutely no idea how to control and keep tabs on his sprite of a kid.

“Serenity’s in trouble without this, Daddy!” Belle grabbed it from him. “You can’t fix it? We better go get Mommy.”

“Yeah, we better go get Mommy.” Simon sighed. Serenity needed to take on another job soon. Then he’d be needed to doctor the wounds that would inevitably occur, and Kaylee could take the day shift being Mommy. 

They found Kaylee in the mess hall, having a cup of tea along with Zoe and her son Ren. 

“Mommy! We’re gonna crash!” Belle ran towards her mother and jumped in her lap. 

Kaylee smiled and took the object from Belle’s hands, and looked it over. “You’ve been playing in the trash bin again, little one.” She ruffled her daughter’s hair. “That’s the old catalyser that we replaced just a bit ago. There’s a working one inside Serenity right now, sweetie. We’re just fine.”

Belle shook her head. “Nuh-uh. I heard Serenity making a noise and I went and pulled out the part that was hurtin’ her.”

Kaylee glared at Simon. “You were supposed to be watching her!”

Simon threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “I couldn’t keep track of River, and she was sixteen years old when we came on Serenity.”

“Belle” Kaylee sighed “Is a five year old girl, not a teenager who’s had the Alliance tinkering with her brain. Honestly. You have one job to do…” Kaylee growled. “Honestly, Simon.” 

“Not to interrupt this family dispute…” Zoe spoke quietly, “But shouldn’t we be making sure that we don’t end up in a quite unpleasant situation?”

“Mal would take it as a kindness if we did.” Kaylee nodded. “Zoe, can you help me out?”

“I’ll help…” Simon said hopefully.

“You’ve helped enough, Simon.” Kaylee cut him off. “Stay and watch the kids. If you can manage that.”

“I can manage that. I usually do.” Simon sat down at the table across from the kids, lying his face directly on the cool surface with a large sigh.”

Jayne entered the dining hall, and went directly to the cupboards to scavenge for food.  
“Hey Doc. Bad day?” He laughed. “What’s going on, Ren? How’s it going, Belle?”

“Good Uncle Jayne!” Belle sang, reaching over and grabbing one of Ren’s toy dinosaurs. “We did just like you said, and everybody’s eyes bugged out!”

“Even Mommy’s!” Seven year old Ren said with a laugh. “They think we’re in terrible danger!”

Simon lifted his head off the table slightly, and glared at his daughter. “You lied to Mommy and Daddy?”

“It’s not lying if it’s a joke. Uncle Jayne said so. He said it would be really funny and it is!” Belle laughed.

“Jayne!” Simon’s head felt like it wanted to explode. “I…I…you don’t teach kids jokes about the ship blowing up! It’s not right! It’s not funny!”

“Oh, get your panties out of a wad.” Jayne laughed. “As soon as they get down to the engine room, your Missus and Zoe will realize that they’ve been gotten. And they’ll have a good laugh at that. We need some more entertainment on this ship. It's been too long since we've had some real butt kicking violence.”

Simon rolled his eyes. The possibility of having more children was looking quite dim at this particular moment; but if he did, the next time he would follow one certain rule. It would be his Golden Rule of Parenting from now on- never, ever let Jayne Cobb baby sit.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted October 2005.


End file.
